


metal is the coldest emotion to detect on the beach with a metal detector

by MazinConner



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16493942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MazinConner/pseuds/MazinConner
Summary: Conner and his best pal Hank go metal detecting on the beach but at what cost?





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - robot conner’s robot basketball heart  
It was an calm urban evening in detroit city where conner and his friend hank lived and did caught criminals sometimes i think. But tonight they were not doing bussiness by cathing crim doers in the the city of detroit where anyone can become human if they so beleive they want to but instead they were on the calm beach of one fo the great lakes which baorders the city of detroit city.   
“Oh boy gosh golly hank I can;t wait to go metal detecting with you tonight since i know its your faveorite hobby.” connrer sadi outloud to his detective friend who solved crimes  
“yeah “ replied hank  
The two of them arrived at the beach with hanks metal detectors in order to detect some metal. Find some coins or whatever.   
“Wow i hope i find something cool in the sand at the beach here “ connner said exiciedly since he was very interested in mhanks faveorite hobby  
“Uh yeah i hope you find something cool conner” hank replied again because hereally anted to show coner what he did on the weekend when he wasnt solving crimes because im pretty sure hes a detective but if hes not well he is now ok.  
The robotman and his not so robot pal got to detecting with their headphones on and their detectors pointed at the ground as the sun dramatically set over the horizon and shone the rays of evenening down upon them cascading over the horizon like streamesrs of pure gold glizening on the gentle waves of lagke mischigann reminding conner of that time that he savsd the fish in the beginnign of the game because it was a goldfish which was the esame color as the rays oming donw from the sun  
“Beep beep bepp” said hanks metal detector as it detected somethign beneath hte rolling sands of the lake.  
“Wow you already found something hank youre really good at this, tough i guess you would be since its what you do every weekedn when not solving cirmes which i think you are also good at.” conner sadis excitedly   
‘Shush im tryingto hear the beeps” replied hank  
“Oh yeah sorry said conner sad  
“Shush i’m tryingto hear the beeps’ replied hank  
“Soorry” siad conner  
“Shush i’m trying to hear the beeps”replied hank  
“”Said conner  
Yeah thanks” said hank as he listened to the beeping from this metal detector and not the beeping that conner used to speak  
After several quitet moments of detecting hank raised his hand to signal that they should stop moving and that he had probably dfouns something. Conner knew this because hank had donethis also when they were being detectives so it was very familiar to conner’s robot brain which i think is powered by drugs  
“Ok lets dig a hole” hank declared taking out his hole digging shovel  
“Cool” siad conner taking out his hole digging spade since hank siad he was not allowed to have a shovel  
Then they dug a whole hole ( that was a joke)  
After many minutes of digging they discovered a great treasure  
“Hot dog its a 1920 nickel thats a good year” said hank   
Conner was a mazed by hanks knowlege of currancy and years  
“Wow what happened in 1920 that made it wa good year?” questioned the brown/black i dont remember haired robot detective man  
“How the fuck should i know” responded hank wowing conner with his lack of knowlege of years, “ok lets get back to looking for metal. Y’know its a good think youre made of some fuckin future ass space plastic or something or youd be making the detecotr go off like crazy and we’d probably have to stop looking.” hank laughed because he thought that it was funny  
“Yeah that’s good also if I was made of metal i’d be heavy and that would be bad” conner also laughed because he thought being heavy was funny  
It wasn’t long before the two of thenm had returneded to metal detecting on the shore of lake michisnagan   
Later on it as conners metal detctor that started beapin up a storm  
“Whoa hank i found a something probably!” conner yelled at hank  
“Ok cool try and find the spot where it beeps the most or whatever you do while metal detecting”  
“Thanks for the expert advice pal” conner said but not sarcasticly like you would probably read that line   
Conner hunted around for where the signal was strongest which was in the sand kind of to the left of a weird looking rock  
“Hey hank I think I found it its over here next to this cool rock” conner yelled at hank  
“Ok then dig it up” hank yelled at conrner  
“Ok then I’ll dig it up “ conner yelled back at hank  
Conner began to dig it up  
It took a long itme bcuase hank had the shovel but he was busy looking for more nickels but conner perserveres ever onward down into the earth. His digging spade suddently met with a cloud calnging sounds as it made contract with something large and metal which would make sense sinese he was using a meatal detector and thusly if it were detecting something other than metal that would be strange but as conner would soon find out what he had discovered in the sands of lageke michiansgan was not what one would expect to find burried on the shore of a lake.   
“Hey hank i think i found something really big can you use the shovel”  
“How big?” hank repleied   
“Pretty dang big” conner also repleied  
“Ok fine i’ll use the shovel”  
Hank then proceeded to tuse the shovel to help dig up the large metal object that hconner found in the sand with his metal detecor  
“Ok shit this is actually really big” mused hank surpirsed the bte sheer size of the metal thing that conner had suscessfully detected  
“Yeah it seems like its the size of a whole person mabye even more than a whole person” conner thought allowed in order for hank to hear what hewas thinking since hank could not read mines (please correct me if hank can read minds I don’t know)  
“Alright conner stop thinking with your mouth and help me pull this sucker out f the earth on which we stand” ahnk politely suggested   
“Ok” conner siad in assurance  
The pair heaved and hoesd an yanked on the man sized man shaped object of mystery and it as very heavy so it took a long time to get it out of the ground but they had no fear since they had solved the great robo crime and they has stopped racism and become human so who was just a single large object stuck in the sand when compared to the might of their freindship and cooperative abilites. And so together the managed to remove the metal man from the not metal sand.  
“Wow this is like a hwole man what how did you find this” hank said surpisesd “ wait a minute this metal man look very familiar I feel like i’ve seen hm before but shit i absolutely cannot place where...” hank pondered...   
Conner also pondered since he also thought the metal man that they had nureaartherd unearther un earthed fomr the groundd look familiar. His visage spoke to conner. That round chrome head, that slick black visor those sculpted metalic pectoral muscles. Then it hit him god how could he have forgotten it was out rageous that he could have there was a statue in his honor in the very city in which he himself was a robot cop. Yes he had just unearthed detroits greatest hero - it was robocop himself  
“Holy shit I think we just dug up robocop” conner yelled in surprise  
“Oh fuck youre right thats definetly robocop god i can’t beleive i didn’t immediately recognize him since I am also a cop in detroit and ia admire his heroic spirit and dedication to eradicate crime even though he has knows he is being used by corperate overlords god i cna’t beleve we just dug up this absolute legend of robotic cops in detroit.” hank repleied  
JUST ONE(1) MINUNETE THERE YOU TWO(2) OVER THERE!’ a familiar voice bellowed forth from behind the two detroid detectives one of whom is a robot  
The two of them turned around dramatically since they were surpised the by the voice they heard for it was the same voice that had been speaking to them just now out of conners motuth

When they turned around on a hill of lake sand stodd another coner!  
“What the hellshit theres another conner over there” said hank  
“What another me thats not possible i’m me” conner said knowing full well that itwas impossible  
“Thats what you think” the other conner said “I am rk900 aka wide conner and I have come to arrest the two of you for illegal metal detecting on the beach of lagke michaigan.”   
“What thats not possible i’ve been metal detecting here since the mid to late 2000’s hwne i was a spunky teenager who listened to the freshest tunes out of detroit” hank yelled in protest  
“I guess you missed the cybernotifcation that was sent out via cyber paper last monday where it was clearly steated that metal detection on public propery was now very illegeal.” wide conner informed hank  
“Shit I never read cybernotfivations that i get in the cyber mail “ hank swore  
Conner was robosweating since he knew he could not go to jail since robots did not go to jail they just died  
“ book him partner” wide conner commanded and his partner gavin who was in a scuba suit rose out the of the lake with a a pair of cyber handcuffs  
“Oh gavin you fucker always hiding in lakes” hank grumled aloud  
“Yeah i knew you were a metal detecting affionodo and wouldnt read your cyber notifications and would come out here metal detecting and bring your friend conner hwo i hate because i hate robots except my best pal wide conner and i knew this would be my chance to take the two of you down and fullfil my mission of not likeing that conner is a detective or something along those line wait is that fucking robocop holy shit.” gavin explain but then saw robocop lying next to the hole where conner and hank had removed him  
“Wait is that seriously robocop? He’s a living legend i visit his statue every day since i’m also a robot cop and really who else is there for a robot cop like me to look up to in this crazy city of detroit become human.” wide conner said astonishally  
Suddenly robocop stood up, his visor blaring to life with it’s distinctive red glow.  
“Hello, it is as you believe, I am Robocop, hero of detroit. These two men saved me from my sandy prision beneath lake michigan.”  
Oh my god it’s actually robocop” everone who was not robocop said in surpised  
“Waht do we do now wide conncer asked alloud???

To be continued?


	2. Act 2 - Activate! Double Connor!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank acquires the core fighter that he and Connor escaped with, and Roux and Iino soon bring him the other two core fighters allowing Hank to form the colossal ZZ Connor, whose fast speed and raw power forces Gavin into a retreat.

Act 2 - Activate! Double Connor!

“Obviiohsusly we gota arrest them you stupid idoit.” gavin said almost a month later

“Yeah that makes sense tsince you we had a plan to excaptly that but what about robocop” wide conner (wonner for short) replied back to gavin but he didnt wait almost a month because i’m writting this immediately after writing the first sentence.

What” the fuck comeone this is bullshit” hank agriy said mad  
“Wow this ssems really unfair hey robocop can you possibly helpt us out here since youre the paragon of peace and justice and the american way here in detroit the car/robotandoidwhateverthefuck capital of the usa”  
“I am sorry standard width conner but my advanced crime database is telling me what they say is true and you have violated the law which means thusly that I must place you and your beard friend under arrest”  
“Shit’ said conner because while he had great respect for robocop he didnt want to be arrested by him  
“Damn i always kenw i;d be arrested someday” hank wistfully said outloud and then he punched gavin in the face and grabbed connered arm and ran  
Ow fuck my face said gavin  
“Oh fuck your face” also said wonner(wide conner for long)  
“Updating crime database with assaulting an officer” said robocop as he updated his crime database with the crime that hank had just done

“Oh my god hank i can’t beleve we’reurnning away from robocop who is trying to arrest us for metal deteting crimes” coneor yelled in anguish  
“Pipe down and run faster” hank told conner with great force of mouth  
The two of them ran and ran and ran from the beach of lake mnichigain into the streets of detroit become human where poorly thought out metaphors lorded menacingly over the populace.

“Hey hank where are we going asked conner questioningly ask they tore ass down block afterr blokc of sidewalk does detroit use a grid system I don’t know it doesn’t really matter for the story but i’m curious, “hey hank also is detroit laid out using a grid system??” conner also asked because he too was curious  
“Uhh kind of it’s not like boston if thats what your asking” hank explained informationally  
“Cool thanks” replied conore who was now filled with useful information about the city of detroit and now likely knows more about it than anyone who worked on the game  
And then they ran some more because i;m going to be completely honest with you here I have no idea where this is going but we’ve come this far together and theres no going back so just stay with me for a while and it’ll all make sense eventually.  
“Ok we’re here at the place we were running to” explained hank conner nodded his head to signal that he understood that this was the place that they had been running to  
Conner looked around at where they had ran to - it was a truck stop 

“Hey hank why are we at a truck stop i thought we were running from the cops because of metal detecting crimes”  
“Exactly conner my pal we gotta go on the run until the mayor makes metal detecting legal again so we retroactively didnt do crime because that is how it works im a cop so i’d know but that slimy asshole gavins really got it out for you in particulat because hes racist against detectives or something so we re going to have ot go real far away to escape his wiry grasp and also the other guy is there.

Hank explained

“Oh ok yeah but why are we at a truck stop? Conner aksked  
“I called in a favor while were runnig over here. How do you feel about alaska?” hank kind of explained  
“I hate it” said conner  
“Good because we’re going to alaska” said hank  
“Awesome” said conner but it was ambiguous whether or not it was sarcastic because do we truely know if he is become human?? Is that part of the game? I don’t know?

Crossfade back to the beach

“Bye robocop Ill never forget you” said wide conner a single robo tear trailing down his cheek as robocop power walked into the sunset

“What a guy” said wide conner again because he is still the one talking

“Ow fuck my face ooh owch” said gavin  
“Ok gavin now that i’ve had my tearful fairwell with robo cop we can get down to our serious detective business of tracking down those 2(two) crimedoers who metal detected on this here beach and also punched you in your face”  
“Good because i know exaclty what they are goign to do to avoid us and have the perfrect plan to stop them from doing the thing that theyare going to to do to avoid us” gavin explained  
“Perfrect what is this plan?” asked wide conner  
“How doyou feel about alaska” also asked gavin which was a call back to what hank asked on the previous page  
“I love it” said wide conner which is also a call back to what conner said on the last page but it’s funny because wide conno is saying the opposite of what conner said this is the backbone of humor  
“Good said gavin because we’re about to go to alaska to catch us some crimedoers  
“I;l start the truck!” said wide conner excited because he never got to start the truck

To be continued?


	3. Phase 3 - The Final Wish of a Dying Star System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of the battle, Hank catches Gavin and tries to push Axis from reentry, with Federation and Neo Zeon mobile suits coming to help. As the group tries to carry out the impossible, Hank's RX-93 Nu Connor resonates and creates a psyco-wave around the asteroid, pushing it away from Earth while shoving all the other mobile suits from the area. Both Federation and Neo-Zeon forces look on as Axis veers off from reentry. Both Hank and Gavin are presumed dead by their respective factions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> truck truck truck

Phase 3 - The Final Wish of a Dying Star System

Truck truck truck turck driving a truck tuck truck truck these were the thouhgts of conner detrotd beyond human as he dorve the tuck that was in the last chapter fdownt the dangerous ice orad that they (they being him conner the one rdrivngin the tuck and also hank his cop detective friend who was in the passenger seqat of the truck and not the one driving it becuase when you are in the passenger seat you are no the tone dirving the truck or car because cars function very similarly o trucks in the manner of how they are being controled by the operator of the vehicle in the sense that whomever is stitting in the passenger seat cannot be the ones driving the truck and or car depending on which one is being driven unless its a forgengin car or truck because in some counryies they drive on the other side of the road so the driver seat and wheel are on the other side than where they are in detorit but if you think about it its still the driver who is driving and the pasengerseat is not the driving seat the spacial positions of the respective seats and titles associated with the seats are merlye revedrsed so in conclucsion hank and conner were in the truck and conner was driving and hank was not driving because he was in the passenger seat thank you goodbye) were on .

“ hey hank can you remind me why were goign tot aklaska on this truck on this dangerous ice road??” asked conner to hank   
“Conner how could you have forgotten so soon it’s only been severweeks of driving the truck up to alaska and crossing the detroit become canadian boarder but i guess i have to humor you since you are my friend” hand said back to conner answering his question  
“Thanks hank for ansewering my question but i was asking as a joke because ai am conner become humor that was also a joke” replied conner  
“Wow good joke conner i gues you have really are become huamn after all’ andhk said after saything that shitty joke again because my knowlege of these characters is nonexsitant  
“Hey hank” conrore postulated “do I know how to dirve?”  
“You know tahts a good question conner I really honest to god have no fuckin idea but youve been driving for the past like 7 horsu and were not dead so fuck it”hank retotrted   
“Ok cool i just wanted to make sure it was ok that i was driving that car’  
“Its a truck” hank dorerected  
‘Waht’ said conner’  
“Its a truck not a car

“ hank siad  
“Oh” said conner  
“Yeah said hank”  
“I mean i ment that it was a truck but i said car because its kindof the same thing” conner  
“No theyres totally different things what the fuck man” hansk said exasperatedingly  
“They have wheels and go forward the only thing that different is the wheel amoint and size theyre the same thing hank” coner argued  
“You can’t say theyre the samething right after you give a bunch of reson s that theyte different conner thats stupid youre a robot android whatever is there a difference between a robot and an andird wait forget the rtuck thing this is more important” hank pivoted  
“Uhhhh shit i have no idea” said conner, “is robot like a racist thing to call and andorid?”  
“Lets not get into that” said hank and they layd the issue to rest for now

There was amoneent of tense sialence between the two detorit detectives as they silently contempletated the ture meaning of what an doroid is versus a robot but their deep and introsepctive thoughts werwere cut short by a sudden change in sernery. Truely, no one could have predicted this turn of events  
If conner could sweat he would have started sweating but i am being told that the common fandom assumption is that he cannot sweat and that this comes up a lot but hey who am i to judge anyway he would be sweating were he able to but alas he cannot sweat so he instead vibrating rabidly like a cell phone because this is what conner does instead of sweating  
“Hey conner why are you doing that do you have like an incoming call or something can you do that are you a phone do you do phone things?” asked hank  
“No hank I am not a phone and I can’t do phone things(please correct me if he can do phone things I don’t know) this is what I do instead of sweating since i can’t do that” conner educated his ignorant compaonion  
“Oh thats’ weird but cool. So what are you sweatshaking about?” hank further interrortgated  
“Well you see the snow and wind have picked up and i can’t see out the window anymore” ocnner informed  
Hank looked at the winsdhield of the truck they(once again they being coner and hank the two individuals in the tuckr that conner was driving)were in and noticed that yeah conner was right and the snow wias blindingly snowy and it was night time and it was impossible to see what the ice road was doing in this brutal canadian winter.  
“Fuck” said hank  
“Yeah its bad “ siad conner

Meanwhile on the other side on the continental united states of america. We find out intrepid heroes - wide ocnner and gavin in a similar yet idstinctly different truck travelling in the opposite direction  
“Hey gaving are you absolutely sure they would take their truck to florida” asked wide coonor “ bevause you just said they would be going to alaska before we left”  
Gavin lagghed at wide connor “ you seethat was to kure them into a false sense of secutiry because i knew that they would think to go to alaska which is why they would know that i would know that they would know that i owuld know hat they would go to alaska so instead i know that they would hcoose to not go to alaska and istead go the forsaken land of florida to escape that cold fist of the law because they knew i would go to alaska to chace after them so im one or 5 steps ahead of them”  
“Oh ok yeah that sounds good to me” said winde conner  
Secretly to himself wide connre knew that gavin was a fucking idiot asshole and was very wrong aboyt them (them in this case being conner(not of the wide variety) and hank(of an average width) who were still driving the truck up in the frozen northerlands of the canadian super penninsula) not being going to be in alaska but h did not want ot say anything becuase gavin hada very fragile ego and wide conner cared deeply for the mental well being of his detectibve(? Is he a detective or just a regular cop???) friend partner and did not want to damge him by informing gaving that there was absolutely no reason why anyone under any circumstances ever would willingly go to florida for any reason even to avoid being put in jail or in conners case just dying because as we(we in this case being you the reader and me the author) established earlier androids/robots do not go to jail they are instead blown up.  
“You know wide conner i just have the perfect god damnd plan for when we get to florida you see there are so many lakes in that piece of shit state so many lakes you have no idea. So heres the plan right - i brought nmy scuba diving suit in the truck and im going to find a lake that feels lkiie a lake that hank and conner would want to be around and them bam there it is i rise out of the lake and book em like the shit scum they are that fucking robot and robot sympathetic mr krabs ass detectingve.” gabving was on a tirad of anher and planning and wide conner was listening despite know that it probably involved sitting in a lake baceuse that was gavins favoritre thing to do. Somtime when gavin talked about hating andoriid robots wide conner got sad because he himself was one of those android obots that gavin hated so much but gaving wasnt usually hating wide conner so they wre cool with eachother so wide ocnner just ignored it for the time being but maybe one day once all this crazy metal detecting business was over he could bring it up and they could talk it out and be detectives of emotions and figure out where all of gavins existential angst and vague(not vague at all) metaphoric racism against robots or android or robots stemmed from.

“Man i can’t wait until we get to lake miniami which is like lake michichan but in miami instead of of michigan” gavin said forshadowing things like critically acclaimed author geroge rr martin of game of thrones fame

“WOw I stil can’t see anything this is gonne be rough hank” defaultly wide conner yell as he struggle d to control the out of controll whieel of the truck he was driving (please not that the wheel I am refering to here is the wheel you use to turn the car and or truck and no the wheels which are used to move the car or truck forward by spinning although you do spin the driving wheel to turn the car it is a different kind of spinning and the two kinds of wheels should not be confused which is why i am including this informative note here just for you( you in this case being the person reading right now (if more than one of you are reading this at the same time you all have to fight amongst your selves to figure out who the you in this case is truely refering to (because it is refering to only a single person and not a group so please do not assume that just because you are reading this in a group that the you is refering to the whole group because it is not))))  
“Connor you gotta hit the brakes were going to crash in to ice road debris if this gones on for any longer” hank heyelled at connro as he held onto his truck seat (which is like a car seat but it is in a truck) with an iron grip that he developed over years of being in dangerous cars and or trucks.  
“I’m trying to brak but the ice is slippery on this ice road that we so foolishly choose to truck on” conner yelled back as his vibration sweat intensifyed to dangerous levels

To be continued?

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] metal is the coldest emotion to detect on the beach with a metal detector](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16768255) by [fishydwarrows](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishydwarrows/pseuds/fishydwarrows), [MazinConner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MazinConner/pseuds/MazinConner)




End file.
